Rules vs. Roles

Rules and Roles are easily merged. (And I recently found out that if you're from Boston, the actual WORDS "rule" and "role" sound the exact same to anyone outside of Boston. Sorry, to have confused you... Ken.)

One may think that it's a rule that men open doors for women, but in reality- that's a role that he chooses to, and should, play. 

Rules are actions/tasks that we, as people, are "supposed" to abide by. A perfect example of a rule-follower is Minkus, from Boy Meets World. Sean is someone who did not follow rules. (Sidebar: Sean was so crush-worthy, right?)


Roles are actions/tasks that we, as people, choose to play. You know how Shakespeare said, "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players?" That's similar to how I see "roles." People choose to act their roles day in and day out for their specific reasons.

I've never liked rules.  I don't like when people tell me what to do, where to go, who to talk to, and I generally do the opposite, depending on what is asked of me. (If it has to do with work or family, I typically follow rules, though.) 

  Examples follow:

• Crossing the street in the sidewalk/when it says WALK only (I strongly disagree with this. Walk whenever and wherever the cars aren't bombing straight at you.)
• Eat dessert after dinner (Only sometimes, I switch this, Mom, not all the time.)
• Wear a dark color on the bottom and a light color on the top (I like to have full creative liberty with my clothing choices.)
• Abide by certain signs on walls in restaurants, hospitals, etc. (If it says don't use your cell phone, chances are I'm using it... purposely.)
• Treat others the way you'd like to be treated. (Now, this one depends on the circumstance. Once, a woman was rude to my mom for no good reason, and even though my mom turned the other cheek (she's a great Christian,) I chose to be rude right back at this woman to give her a taste of her own medicine. Call me a New Yorker, if you want, but I was taking care of what needed to be done.) Most other times, I abide by this rule. It's much easier to be kind than mean, 99% of the time.

I do like roles, and enjoy acting my role as a woman, daughter, sister, friend, granddaughter, cousin, niece, and coworker.

Examples follow:

• When courting, men pay for dinners, drinks, and cabs (No question.)
• When an elderly or pregnant person gets on the subway and you're in a seat, offer them your seat (This goes for any young, healthy person with 2 working legs.)
• Clean up after dinner if someone else made it (In my house, it may as well be a rule, but I see it as a role. For example, My grandmother and grandfather cook & prepare Thanksgiving, so I see it my duty as a grandchild (the eldest female grandchild, at that) to happily clean and put away everything once the meal is over.)
• Men cut the grass. (I don't know how to use a lawnmower, and I don't ever want to learn unless I have no choice. And see how HAPPY that guy is?!  He's thrilled to be mowing his own grass.)

The issue with rules and roles is that there is a fine line that divides them from"options," or "rights." A few things above could even be classified as a role, but also an option, or a rule, and also a right.

Am I alone out there? Does anyone else use their cell phones places you shouldn't and think that mowing the lawn is your dad's, brother's or neighbor-boy's job?

xoxo